swarnpert:

the phrase “when pigs fly” is very outdated because the police have helicopters

theinturnetexplorer:

I shall soon begin my career as a Sarcasm Analyst

vaguelycoolgrey:

I can dead be sobbing in front of you with a broken heart and I’ll still crack a joke

milkworts:
“ mugiwara-jm:
“ Are you fucking serious
”
is this a prank? how is this real. the purple one is doing the same pose. the moose has the exact same hair and color scheme for his clothes. the pink one has darker pink splotches and antennae....

milkworts:

mugiwara-jm:

Are you fucking serious

is this a prank? how is this real. the purple one is doing the same pose. the moose has the exact same hair and color scheme for his clothes. the pink one has darker pink splotches and antennae. how can this be. this is not a coincidence

kaorux:

I have put together a few of the posts where people have been incredibly smooth

patrik-star:

squidword:

patrik-star:

squidword:

Solitude in E Minor

image

YAY E MINOR ALRIGHT YEAH

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wintersoldeirs:

when you see a person smile and it’s like……holy shit…….what is this magic…………please do that again

yungmethuselah:

unlimitedgoats:

Friends, tell me of ships you hate.

The Niña, the Pinta and the Santa Maria.

pettyrevenge:

I make my husband a sandwich everyday for work. Once, I jokingly kissed it to show him that I made it “with love.” But then for some reason it stuck, and that just became the habit. Make sandwich, give it a little smooch, put into baggie. Except when I’m mad at him. Then that sandwich isn’t made with love. It gets no kiss. Yeah, enjoy that sandwich, jerkface. I hope it tastes like despair.

doodleforfood:

Safety first, kiddos.